Out with the old, In with the new.
The past few months have been a real awakening for me. I’ve finally realized what I’m supposed to be doing with this life of mine. Not to be too mushy gushy or anything but the past year has been complete hell. Battling with an addiction is far from a stroll through the park. Once you wake up from this “coma” you realized that you have no idea wtf you’re even doing anymore. You wonder so far off of the path that it feels like you’re lost in a way. You sit around for days on end just waiting.. for what? Who knows.. You have no idea what to do with yourself anymore because you’re not on a constant crusade to find drugs and get fucked up. It was a slow beginning for me because I was stuck in that position. I had lost the majority of my friends, so that really limited my day to day activities. Ninety percent of them were people that I desperately needed to stay away from but the other ten percent were my true friends. I have one friend that has stuck with me through all of it — the thick and the thin, and I thank God for him. He never gave up on me, even if I didn’t speak to him for weeks or even months. He got me the great job I have now and he’s probably one of the main people that helped me get from where I was to where I am now. I owe a lot to him and I’ll definitely never forget the friendship he’s shown to me over the past decade. I suppose, what I’m trying to get at is, now that I have my life sailing at full speed in the right direction, where do I go from here? I want to get back in touch with all of my old friends (the good ones of course!) and get back in the swing of hanging out and whatnot. I’m off on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays but I spend each one of those days either in front of the TV or behind my desk working on things or watching movies/shows. I’m finally to the point where I feel comfortable getting out and functioning like a normal human being. That may sound weird, like I’m some rehabilitated goon, but it’s the truth. When you devote years of your life to drugs and such, you will ultimately lose connection with society and reality. Bottom line is, I want to reconnect with the wonderful friends that I once had. I’m not so sure all of the will want to be friends with me anymore, but I know that my true friends won’t just turn a cold shoulder. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this: Thank you so much. Thank you for giving me a second chance and thank you for believing in me, or moreso, my ability to change.
9 months ago
